As a parent the question, “Am I doing this right?” has followed me and tapped on my shoulder more times than I can count. Though the pandemic was wrought with challenges, this question led to a revelatory experience that will inform not just my parenting decisions, but life’s quandaries. I believed with enough manipulation that certainty is real.
What I have come to discover is that certainty is a fallacy and that’s ok. It’s more than ok, it’s a gift.
Dr. Edith Eger was being interviewed and she said something so incredibly profound: “There is no such thing as certainty…
How the gift of pausing, changed the course of my parenting journey.
How many times do you use sarcasm to express your dissatisfaction? I would guess you usually do this more often than you’d like to admit. I have been guilty of this, and it has resulted in situations where I have not always put my best foot forward.
When my son became a teenager, I permitted myself to start using sarcasm. Partly because it’s how a teenager often speaks. …
Me: Hi, my name is Albiona.
Other Person: Wait, what’s your name?
Other Person: Ok say that slower for me
Other Person: Do you have a nick name?
Other Person: You’re going to have to forgive me, I’ll never be able to remember that.
In so many ways, our names tell the stories of who we are. Growing up with the name Albiona, did not me make feel like one of the other kids at school. Where I grew up, most of the girls had names like Jennifer, Kimberly and Melissa. …
Pick up a wellness magazine and you’re bound to find “Balance” in a headline:
Do You Have Trouble Finding Balance?
How to Find Balance in Your Chaotic Day
The Top 10 Secrets to Help you Feel More Balanced
Balance is important, and I think we have good intentions when we say we need more balance in our lives. But what does balance really mean? And why does it seem that we’re always searching for it but can’t quite get there?
I recently attended a yoga class where the instructor walked us through a balancing sequence. While in tree pose, some…
When I started practicing the steps in PARR (pause, acknowledge, respond, reflect), it helped me identify thoughts I was subscribing to. Moments of reflection allowed me to consider my subconscious beliefs of what it means to be a good mom. I’m going to walk you through a common experience among parents and share the insights I gained while reflecting.
How to Teach Your Children to Embrace Fear
Originally published on kiddosandinsights.com
When I was in the seventh grade I was on the school gymnastics team. I loved competing and the social aspect of going to meets with my friends.
Yet, I had a love hate relationship with the balance beam. The narrow board was fear inducing but gratifying at the same time. When I completed my routine without falling, I felt victorious. Then my coach made the routine more difficult, challenging me to land a cartwheel on the beam.
The harder the routine the better your chance was of…
Processing mistakes starts with you
This phenomenon happens among not just kids but adults too — a paralyzing fear of making mistakes. I see it and hear it all the time — from adults I work with, friends, family, and children too.
I recently read the book “How to Raise Successful People” by Esther Wojcicki. In it, she cites Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck, who is the author of the book “Mindset.”
Dweck identifies two different mindsets: fixed and growth. She describes how her freshman class at Stanford feels about mistakes. …
My kids still say it!
Children will typically see things in a binary way — good/bad, right/wrong, happy/sad, etc. In part, it’s because they haven’t had the same life experiences as an adult to understand the many gray areas of life. Even as adults, we have a hard time looking at situations as non-binary. It’s much easier for our brain to put things in one category or another neatly. How often have you heard somebody say, “I just see things as very black and white.”
Unfortunately, life experiences aren’t binary. They’re complicated and multi-layered, and they have to be explored…
Albiona has over 20 years of experience working with children and families. She is a writer, a parenting consultant and a life-long learner.